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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in potacio's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, October 1st, 2007
    12:50 am
    It scares me to think you might be getting close to me just so that you can be closer to her.
    Sunday, September 9th, 2007
    7:43 pm
    I like how everyone has that other name their parents where gonna call them. Mine was Deborah, I like to think is my other secret persona.
    Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
    11:44 pm
    I feel very alone. And with the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach I have to move on, pretend I’m a big girl and smile.

    Shit is weird. I’m going back and I care way too much. I say I don’t, but I do.

    PATHETIC!!
    8:24 pm
    Are you fucking kidding me?

    I need to get back on track.

    Sometimes we need a little pep talk or a shot of something to get through. My whole life I’ve been second best and I’m fucking tired of it.

    She always wins. Everything I want she gets.

    I think I'm done with my little emo rant. I still feel like shit.
    Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
    9:13 pm
    I must be drunk cause they kissed and I don't care... I mean some part of me gets the idea, the other just thinks he was drunk too so he probably won't remember. He did it just to see if he could. He was drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk... She got some; he was drunk cause he doesn't care. Maybe?
    2:27 am
    Talk, both, now, miss
    After thinking about it for a long time I realized: nothing, I don’t know what I want to do. Everything is so tangled with everything. If a single word where to run from my mouth its meaning could vary from here to the moon. The moon is very far. Hypocrisy it’s the first word that comes to mind, I talked so much shit in the past year, its not even funny. I stopped caring a long time ago, or so I thought. Do I care? Do you? I wish we could turn back time sometimes…
    Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
    12:21 am
    Productive.
    Sunday, August 12th, 2007
    11:00 pm
    University starts tomorrow.

    Again…

    I’m trying hard not to freak about the little things, but I do. It’s just a part of me.
    Wednesday, August 8th, 2007
    11:35 pm
    ...2
    I want to talk and write and for it to mean something. I don't want to be another empty shell, substance, thats what I want.

    Maybe I'm just a sad, shallow little fuck.

    I wish I could forget, I wish you could forget. I said a lot of things that I know regret.

    I feel like talking to you...
    11:31 pm
    ...
    I miss having someone to talk with, no thinking, no filter, just saying what I feel and think without being judge.
    Friday, June 29th, 2007
    12:27 am
    I have a need to please everyone, all the time. This practice is so time consuming, sometimes you can barely breath. I just had to state that.
    Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
    1:03 am
    I hate talking about the future, my views and stands, the way I think. I just don’t feel like discussing that stuff all the time. I suck, the way my brain works suck. I cant talk about anything serious, I always have to detour, make a joke and… somebody just told me that I think like an adult. Well this fucking adult haves an cell-phone bill for 849.00. I have no clue what to do. I feel like crying, I really feel like crying, all the money I’ve worked for is gone. I really need a plan.
    Friday, May 25th, 2007
    10:02 pm
    Everyone wants to know how I feel about this whole thing. And I don’t know how to act. There’s no point in beating myself up. I can’t smile and pretend. I’m out of practice.

    First year of university… check. I survived; it wasn’t as bad as I though it would be.

    I just want to lay there, as the warm sun strikes my face and the machine inside of me shuts down. There’s no place to go. Where do everyone goes? I think I’m out-dated, my serial number is wrong.
    Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
    8:47 pm
    I’ve been dreading this day. I’m not going to put myself down and ask myself again the same thing. I’m just not.
    Sunday, May 20th, 2007
    11:12 pm
    U knw u <3 me
    I’m not freaking out about tomorrow, this, my friends, is a positive sign. Everything will be ok.

    I started reading all of my Harry Potter books again.

    Positive thinking…

    I saw the Gossip Girl previews for fall and the show looks really good. Blair’s forehead is way to big, all of the guys look the same and Dan is so not like I imagined. I don’t know why but in my mind Dan was Seth Green with darker hair and like 2 feet taller. Everything else is awesome. Oh, and Jenny, isn’t she suppose to be like 234 ZZ bra size? Just a thought.
    5:06 pm
    Silent mode.
    To work we go!! While in sleep land with my mom next to me, I got a call from my boss and I start working tomorrow. At 9:00 am. Monday. I’m not pissed, or scared, I’m just like… nothing.

    Anyways I’m proud of myself.
    Friday, May 18th, 2007
    10:48 pm
    It’s really not about NOT wanting to make things right. It’s about the sweet war, we live it, we love it. It actually gives us something to talk about. Our mundane lives are so empty we kind of adore this little battle we have. I don’t know. Somehow we ended up here, it’s a dark area filled with boundaries and mystery. Come to think about it, we all love us some mystery, maybe that’s why we do what we do. It’s just a thought. I have many of those. I bake ‘em in a big brick oven in the back of my house.

    Can things have leftover energy and move? Okay, half cooked…

    Rough. Want to hear about rough? Ok, my sister who’s four whole years my junior went on a fucking date. I mean how pathetic am I? You know what, don’t even answer. The topic is not one of my favorites.

    I miss our shitty Friday’s routine. It always made me feel better about myself. I guess I gave that up too. I always get emo on Fridays…

    Ohhh you know what would make me happy as a fuck?? Amy Winehouse’s hair do. I love that bitch. I’m so gonna practice it. Let’s make this Friday a good one.
    6:53 pm
    Cheers.
    Summer is really close.

    I’ve eaten everything but the kitchen sink.

    It’s really fucking hot and I’m bored.

    I had a weird ass nightmare.

    I want a brownie.
    Sunday, May 6th, 2007
    9:34 pm
    I really am avoiding everything. I’m drowning in a sea of papers, essays, investigations, movies, books, and numbers. All I want to do is lay in the sun and sleep. The fact that I wont get sleep tonight breaks my heart and makes my eyelids heavy with anticipation, they can barely wait for me to go to bed and dream about brownies and ice cream. Yeah, the fridge lures me in and I find myself going out of the lines.
    1:03 am
    I want to watch you dream some more
    I love how music can take you to this other universe, the past and the future, saving you from the boring present. I like the freedom, the rush of a good song while playing free cell in my computer, the lights are off and so is my brain. I love that I don’t have to think; I just breathe and look at the screen until it eats my vision. I have an art to loose time in the most vain of things. I wish I could braid your eyes with mine and forward time.
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